"Life as I know it has changed."

When I posted in February I was struggling with the loss of a young wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend. The truth is I went to too many funerals in 2010. When I stopped to think about it the number was 8! That is too many! But in all of the loss, God opened my eyes to another part of His love, the miracle of the creation of life. In May, Kristi and I learned that we were going to be parents. The elation was more than I could say. Having a baby was something that we new we were ready for and very excited about. Unfortunatly, just five weeks into the pregnancy Kristi miscarried. It was another time of great loss in our house. The blessing was that Kristi was healthy and that a baby had not actually formed. Putting our sadness aside we placed our faith in God that He would give us a child in His time. Well, His time was efficient. Just a few months later we learned again that we would be having a baby. We vowed immediatly to not live our lives in fear that we may lose the child. Instead we were going to have faith and enjoy the growth of the life she was carrying. That decision has meant everything to the smoothness in which the pregnancy has gone. I am thrilled that we are approaching 19 weeks and little Carter Ashton Belt will be here around June 3.

Now what does that mean for me? Well, as Kristi and I have been on this journey of pregnancy a lot of things have changed. Obviously, her body is changing and all of the hormones raging inside her are causing some emotional changes as well. It's the changes inside of me that have me the most facinated by this experience. I confessed to Kristi a few weeks ago that I was longing for something real in the pregnancy. I was struggling with the fact that I didn't feel any different and that Carter's growth was not having that big an impact on me. Now let's stop for a second while I address all of you parents who are laughing at the thought of "oh your changes are coming just you wait and see." I appreciate that my role in this adventure is to take care of my wife during the pregnancy and then take care of the child and my wife after the pregnancy. I accept that role with excitment. But, in the mean time I was wanting something I could share in with her while she was pregnant. It was not until just this last week as we sat in the doctor's office having a sonogram that the reality hit me. As the sonographer was looking at Carter she froze on an image that left me in tears. For just a passing second his face was on the screen. She had zoomed in the machine to get some shots of his heart and in the process we got to see his face. There it was on the screen, a perfect shot of my son's face. Needless to say I was a blubbering mess. It was in that moment that God showed me the magnitude of this situation. I knew my son had arms, legs, fingers, toes, a brain and even teeth so why wouldn't he have a face? It's just that I had not seen it that close until then. Once I had seen his face then every other part of him was all of the sudden new and amazing. I cried for a good portion of the sonogram. When we got in the car I told Kristi that it was very real to me now. I know that as we continue I will be able to feel him move and kick and those are days that I am awaiting anxiously but it may not compare to the day I saw his face. That's when I knew, life as I know it has changed.

"Way too many young people"

Welcome back everyone! It has been over a year since I last posted and I can tell you that much has changed since then but I will post again with updates later. One of the things that never seems to change as we get older is the coming and going of people in our lives. Over the last three weeks Kristi and I have joined tens of thousands of others in prayer over Jenny Bazaillion. However, early this week she left us to go and gain her reward at the right hand of our Savior. Tonight was the visitation for the family and Kristi and I went. We got to the chapel and had to stand in a pretty long line to get to the family, none of this was surprising since we had assumed many people would want to pay their respects. The one thing that stuck out to both of us though was the number of young people that were there and had been greatly affected by this story. So many late 20's early 30's who knew and loved Jenny were there and feeling a myriad of emotions. It occurred to me that we as the Generation X have spent most of our lives feeling like we had everything to prove to the world and were invincible at the same time. Jenny's struggle for her life is a clear message that life is too short and that we are not as strong as we think we are. But the bright side is that we have a God who is stronger than anything we can get ourselves into. He is bigger that we are and is able to more than we could ever imagine. It was Jenny's dream to unify Christians and have them stop complaining and fighting amongst one another and she fulfilled that dream. Because of her story I have been reconnected with old friends who will be an influence in mine and Kristi's ministry for years to come. I owe that to her and to God's amazing grace. I read in a blog a few minutes ago that tomorrow we are not going to have a funeral but instead a celebration of Jenny's life, I believe that to be true. I believe that a life such as hers should be honored and celebrated. I believe that as we mourn here on Earth the angels in Heaven are throwing a party that she is with them. I am going to close with a song lyric that has been rolling around in my head all week. I see it as the picture of what Jenny must have seen when her soul left this place and went to see her Father. There were too many young people in the room tonight. A young woman in the prime of her life was taken from those who loved her, who called her wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. She will be missed greatly but I hope this allows us all to see how sweet life is here together. I hope that we will continue Jenny's legacy by continuing to love one another with the love of the Lord.

"Just an ordinary day in Heaven looking down the streets of gold,

you could hear the strings and the angel wings and see the saints of old.

When suddenly God breaks a smile and begins to sing, "look my child is coming home!"

"Open up the pearly gated of Heaven, build another mansion next to mine, everybody dance and shout for joy around the throne. Set another place at my table, sound the trumpet loud and clear this time, Hallelujah! My child is coming home."

2008 Reflections

Now that it is December 31st and I have my first real time to stop and reflect back on all that has happened this year I realize what a crazy year this has been. I spent New Year last year in East Texas wondering what I was going to do in 2008. I was in a job that I didn't really like in Midland, a place that I didn't really like living. I began looking for a new teaching position in February and had no luck. Then in March life as I knew it changed completely overnight! (no kidding!) On March 16 I met Kristi. Life then became brighter and I had something exciting to look forward to. Kristi and I spent the 10 weeks of school that were left after spring break talking on the phone constantly and counting down the days till the school year was over and I could get home. As soon as I finished my duties in Midland I moved back to Mesquite. Kristi and I had set a wedding date on the last day of spring break and so we were working toward getting things together for that. In mid June mine and Kristi's relationship went to a new level when I proposed to her on one of the swings at Harding University. (see previous posts for full story) At that point the wedding planning went into a buzz of activity. Even through all of that time I still didn't have a new job. I was looking everywhere I could and nothing was coming up. Finally at the end of the summer, just one day before summer band started across the state my answered prayer came. I had just received word that I had not been selected for a job I had interviewed for when my phone rang. It was Jolette Wine, the new director at Birdville High School. She wanted me to come in and interview for the percussion director position. The next morning, Saturday, I went and met with her for a while and left the interview not knowing what to think. The next day, Sunday, she called and told me that I had the job. I started the next morning, Monday, at 7 a.m. I didn't know what I was doing when I walked in the door but I didn't care God had blessed me with a chance to work at a great school with great people. I love my job to this day and I can't wait to see what the second semester has in store for us.
Meanwhile, a very busy marching season was in full swing in the fall and Kristi and I were fast approaching our December 20 wedding. The list of things to do seemed endless and the amount of sleep we were getting was less and less. But somehow I knew that if we could get to the end of marching season things would get easier and easier they did get. After marching season I was able to put my attention on the wedding and before I knew it we were a week away. The last week before was a flurry of activity, with Christmas being right around the corner we also had to fit in having gift exchanges with both sides of the family. The week flew by and before I knew it was Friday and less than 24 hours away. Friday was a great day, I spent the entire day at the church singing with the quartet and watching the church take the form of exactly what Kristi had dreamed it to look. We had the rehearsal dinner and rehearsal that night which was a lot of fun because I had not seen all of my groomsmen in some time. Then the big day came, the ceremony was beautiful, it was exactly what she and I had hoped it would be. It was happy and emotional but also a worship of the precious thing that God had designed between a man and woman. I stood at the front of the auditorium waiting for Kristi thinking that I could not wait to see her. Then the doors opened and there she was and I am here to tell you gentlemen, you are not going to find a more beautiful woman anywhere. I am sorry I got her, the rest of you are going to be finding second place from now on. After the wedding was over there was an overwhelming quiet that fell on Kristi and I. We didn't have any to do lists or a constant feeling of obligation to get anything done. We were married and now we had a week to run away together and enjoy being husband and wife. We spent the wedding night at the Mansion on Turtle Creek in Dallas and it was wonderful. Then we spent a day and night at our new home together before leaving for Nashville, TN on Monday morning. Our room in Nashville at the Gaylord Hotel was amazing. The hotel upgraded our room for free to a VIP room that overlooked one of the garden atrium's in the hotel. We had a great time being together and being married. We have since returned from our honeymoon and have moved all of her things over to our new place in Lewisville. I love my wife and I have had so much fun figuring out life with her in these past few weeks. Our home, though a total mess right now is already feeling warm and open. I am so excited to see what the future holds for us. I know that 2009 is going to be so much better than 2008 and that is saying something. If 2008 taught me anything it is that God has the power to do anything at anytime. There is no limits to His greatness and no limits to His plans. I confess that my faith has grown because of this year and I proclaim that God has worked some amazing things in my life in a very short amount of time. I pray God's richest blessing on you in the New Year. Have fun and enjoy all that He is giving you because it might just change your life.

It has been a while

It has been a while since I have posted anything on my blog and I felt that this would be a good time. Oh my how life has changed since I last posted. Since June 20 I have received a new job which has been a total blessing, I have moved into the apartment that Kristi and I will call home and we are only 6 weeks away from the wedding. Life has been fast and furious these last several months. We have celebrated the life and passing of Kristi's Grandy in early October as well as been overwhelmed with the excitement of starting a new life together. We taken care of all of the major aspects of the wedding including: cakes, flowers, dresses, tuxes, music, wedding party, honeymoon etc. We have even begun planning next summer plans with church camp and Mama K camp in New Mexico. And just when you think there is nothing more to plan we have begun sketching out plans to go to Florida next Christmas. Whew! I can't believe we have been able to sleep with all of that going on. If there is one thing that is for sure I will be glad when the wedding is behind us and we are able to put our lives together in the same place and start our routine. Life is so good and I wish this on everyone.
I can't begin to tell you how blessed I am to have Kristi as my team-mate and future wife. She has been there for me every step of the way through a very scary summer of not having a job to the smooth transition into my job which was very short notice and very fast to the grueling schedule of this marching season. She has never once complained or been unwavering in her support. Men, if you can find someone like her who loves you for who you are and what you are don't let her get away. Find a woman who will love you when you are doing well in life and when you are slumping in life and feel worthless. Find someone like her who will challenge you to keep going and to work harder because you can and she has faith in you. But at the same time love her with everything you have. Don't for one moment take her for granted or miss out on a moment of her smile and laughter. Spoil her not only with material things but with quality time and loving gestures that make her feel like a princess. She is the most valuable thing that God can give you on this earth. He truly blessed us men when he said "it is not good for man to be alone". When you look at your wife know that you are looking directly into the eyes of someone who is giving you a tangible taste of what God's love for you really is.

Man this is fun!

Finally, everyone is home! Last week Kristi and I left on Wednesday to go out of town and my parents left with Jordan (my middle brother) to move him to Florida. I had not been in the same town with my parents in a week and I was ready to get their reactions on the engagement and the wedding plans. I was pretty sure that there was some excitement but I wanted to see for myself. Sure enough, yesterday I spent most of the afternoon talking about the wedding and marriage with my mom. Mom has been a tough sell at times with this wedding thing and I am so glad that she is now in full support of what is happening. This is fun and I am looking forward to what is in store for us down the road!

It Is Official!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I stated before Kristi and I are in Searcy visiting her friends and family. It has been widely known for a little while now that Kristi and I were pretty fond of each other. In the course of our three months together we have pretty much planned our entire wedding which will not be taking place until December of this year, there was just one thing missing in all of this; SHE DIDN'T HAVE A RING! I have had the ring that I was going to give her for over a month now and I was waiting for the perfect time to give it to her. I decided I would wait until we were here on the campus of Harding University (Kristi's Alma Mater). So several weeks ago I called and asked Kristi's parents if they would be willing to come out and be here when I did it because all three of them had gone to school here and it would be extra special. So this morning I put the plan in motion and I just prayed that Kristi would not figure it out. We went to the campus and were going to "meet" one of my good friends out in front of Patty Cobb Hall, while we were waiting on him to get there we went and sat in one of the famous Harding Swings. Let's take a side note for just a second while I explain these swings to you. I am learning that there are a lot of traditions at Harding that have a bearing on whether or not you get married. For example, if you walk under the old bell tower while you are single then the tradition is that you will never get married and if you sit in three swings with the same boy you are going to marry him. If you are a male on the campus it seems to me that there is a large amount of pressure that you better be pretty positive about the girl you are dating before you go messing with these traditions. I had only heard of these swings and knew that it would be important to her that she was proposed to while sitting in one of them. So while sitting in the swing I looked her in the eyes and told her that I loved her and then got down on one knee. Upon seeing this her response was "NO WAY!" She was completely surprised and taken off guard. I told her that God had put her in my life 3 months ago and I was so thankful and that I wanted to propose here in this place that was so important in her growth as a woman, christian and student. I told her that I had been waiting on today to do this and I asked if she would marry me. Amidst all of the giggling and squealing she said yes and we hugged for a long time. Then I told her to glance over her shoulder as she was being video taped by the same friend she thought we were waiting on to meet. Then I told her to look over the other shoulder as her parents were coming out from behind a tree where they had been watching all of this unfold. All in all the day has been a wonderful time of showing off the ring and being introduced to all of her friends as her fiance. I love this woman with all of my heart and I am so excited about the wonderful future that God has in store for us.

When Babies Dream

Kristi and I drove to Searcy, Arkansas today to visit her grandparents and her friends from college. While we are here we are staying with her good friends Ginger, Dustin and their 2 month old baby Hannah. Tonight, Kristi and I are watching Hannah while Ginger and Dustin cleaned the church building and we are beginning to get a feeling of what parenting is going to feel like. I have loved so much watching Kristi hold her and rock her because it is such a clear glimpse into the future of what a wonderful mother she is going to be. A baby in her arms becomes her and it so clear that God put her on this earth to be a mother. A few minutes ago, while Hannah was sleeping we went in to check on her. She was so beautiful, sleeping there peacefully and would squeak and smile while she was dreaming. Then this question came to mind as she continued to make noises and grin. Does the pure, sweet mind of a child see the most amazing images of a God that we can't begin to fathom? Does this tiny human child who is just a few months in existence smile as she sees the angels dance and play in her minds eye? Are there beautiful pictures of a land of rest that we strive toward everyday? This baby knows nothing of earthly pleasures that would make her smile, so there is only one who can paint pictures so beautiful and pleasing that an infant can grasp. I believe that little Hannah sees things in her dreams that we in our flawed human flesh cannot. I know that one day those images will fade from her mind and she will begin her journey to get to Heaven where those images will be eternal and tangible. The truth is that we are called to be like baby Hannah, we are called to be like a little child so that we can inherit the Kingdom of God. I envy Hannah tonight, she is closer to God than any of us will ever be on this earth. She is in a place now, while on this earth that one day I pray to be, that is resting safely in the arms of God.